How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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