i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
