Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Dew_Monster18 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

Fav 23 1394 5960
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.

Fav 17 7417 2162
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

Fav 9 3527 1344
share tweet
(252): View more from North Carolina

I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers

Fav 6 3983 1052
share tweet
(937): View more from Ohio

You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable

(1-937): View more from Ohio

I can do at least one of those things.

Fav 2 2032 688
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few

Fav 8 1186 2289
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

(501): View more from Arkansas

Strong work

Fav 1 1692 677
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway

Fav 2 717 689
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.

Fav 0 60 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT