Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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