He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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