i just wanna soil my oats bro
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
