Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
