I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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