Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
