I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The feeling are messing with the penis
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
