When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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