dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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