Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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