OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
