In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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