Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
