I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
