I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
