Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
