So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
