after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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