what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
