fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize