this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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