I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
