This is not my ceiling
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize