oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
