It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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