the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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