I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
