1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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