drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize