how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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