It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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