she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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