Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
