No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
