i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
