she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
