Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
