I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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