One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
