i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
