Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
