After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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