I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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