The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
