I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
