y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
