i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
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Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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