Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
