How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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