why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
