Umm I'm too high to move.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize