Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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