there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
