There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
