my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
are you so shy because you have an std?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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