brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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