just come out here and I will go home with you...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
