I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
