He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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