i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
