The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
