He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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