Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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