i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
