Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
