I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
