I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
