His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
