:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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