Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
